Wow I definitely haven't written in my livejournal since May 1. Wow a lot has happend since then haha hm...

So friday I went out and I had a bunch of fun with my cousin Ryan! Except when I tried to call him and definitely dialed the wrong number. So saturday honestly I didn't want to go to homecoming I seriously just didn't feel like having to do the date thing with Jake and going to dinnner and everyone is giving me shit cuz i blew him off, but seriously i just can't do it.

So I have a question, wait I have more then one question, but I will begin with this.....

Why can't you just tell me simply you don't love me, and you want to be with me, why do things always have to end without me knowing. I can't help but wonder why you can't tell me that.
I don't pretend to know anything about you. I just know what I see. And I know there is so much to you. I look at you and I see something in you.

So another question..... How do you prove you love someone?

I don't know. And it kills me because I feel like I hurt you, and maybe I don't have any affect on you at all.

With all the promises we make from the craddle to the grave....When all I want is you.

I know all my words are mixed up and confusing, and still just words, but I search for the right words, when i know nothing is going to be right......

If you don't love me I want to know.

If you don't think I love you. I do. I might not know how to prove it to you. But i would do anything for you. I will always be here. Sometimes I feel like your testing me with the things you do and say. Like your looking for that one moment when I will give up on this, and walk away from you, but I won't. I don't know what any of this comes down to I honestly don't. All I know is I'm not walking away. So I am here for you. Good Bad whatever. Maybe it comes down to quite honestly you don't care about me. You don't have feelings for me and thats fine. I want you to be happy even if it's with someone else......

Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
One

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

If I could open my arms
and span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
making a lake of the East River and Hudson
And if I could open my mouth
wide enough for a marching band to march out of
they would make your name sing
and bend through alleys and bounce off other buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
that I live like a hermit in my own head
but when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown